Low Desire

The most common sex-related challenge for women (experienced by about a third of women, from ages 18 through 49) is that of feeling a low level of desire for sex.  In midlife (menopause) and beyond, this issue remains significant— though for a different set of underlying reasons.

Sex is complicated, especially for women.  The female sexual response is dependent on many factors, many of which are mental or emotional, rather than purely physical.  Women are very attuned to social influences, such as the sexual attitudes and beliefs of friends, family and society.

Lonely sad womanThese include body image concerns; ours is a youth-worshiping society, in which advertisers spend billions of dollars a year to tell men and women how we should look, behave and feel.  Even more than men, women need to feel safe, valued and cared for before they are likely to feel sexual attraction.

Like men, today’s women carry many heavy responsibilities, for work and at home.  This can leave them so tired and stressed that the need for sleep, rest and personal space trumps any amorous interests.

Low desire can certainly have a physical basis, in addition to its many possible mental and emotional reasons.  With menopause, dropping estrogen levels can cause physical discomfort in sex, due to dryness and other issues.  Desire-boosting testosterone also drops in and after menopause.  Sex coaching can help identify any such possible culprits, for referral to a medical practitioner.

A sex coach can also help a client become aware of and understand the many possible mental and emotional drags on a client’s feeling sexy.  By taking a holistic “big-picture” view of a client’s life, a seasoned coach can help suggest life and attitude changes that can boost desire for sex and intimacy.  That can help the client stay engaged in life and interested in the pursuit of pleasure and emotional satisfaction.

A knowledgeable sex coach can be a powerful partner in addressing these issues.  Here’s What I Do to help my clients.