An affair can have a deep and lasting negative effect on a relationship. This is true whether it’s a physical affair, or an emotional one; in fact, in many cases, emotional affairs are more damaging than are physical ones— especially as viewed from the woman’s perspective.
Affairs cut deep because of the fact that they involve a breach of trust. They are also damaging because of the expectations of unswerving commitment that most men and women in our society are taught to expect and enforce, as the norm. Both women and men can stray, while seeking things that they miss in their relationship.
Much of the damage of an affair has psychological roots; that’s why an informed coach will likely recommend that the affected couple also seek help from a sex or relationship therapist, who can help the couple focus on emotional and relationship challenges.
To complement what a therapist or psychologist can do through a psychological “deep dive”, a sex coach can also offer many benefits to a recovering couple. To lay a foundation, the coach can help the couple understand what their individual and coupled beliefs are regarding monogamy and commitment. We all receive a lot of deep-seated “programming” regarding these topics, from the relatives, friends and institutions that help shape us in youth. The coach can help examine this “programming”, to allow a couple to consider whether those beliefs are still appropriate for the couple and its individual partners. The coach can also help the couple understand why the partner(s) “strayed”, to reduce the chances of unwanted future occurrences. The coach can offer suggestions as to how to reduce or otherwise manage the allure of the “forbidden fruit”, leveraging the communication and negotiation skills of the couple. The coach can fill the vital role of a caring but impartial supporter to both members of the couple— an invaluable asset to help overcome the hurt caused by the affair.
A knowledgeable sex coach can be a powerful partner in addressing these issues. Here’s What I Do to help my clients.