What man hasn’t had the experience of eagerly looking forward to sharing a passionate sexual experience with an attractive partner, only to find it difficult or impossible to get a strong erection? There can be many reasons for such occurrences— most of which can be quickly addressed.
Sometimes (though not very often), the issue can have physical roots. Erections depend on good blood circulation, and many common prescriptions have side-effects that include causing erection problems. Extremes of weight or circulatory-system problems can also interfere with erections, as can problems with the nerves that are involved in erection.
All of these physical causes can be readily diagnosed by a doctor or other appropriately trained healthcare worker. One of the sex coach’s jobs is to determine when a referral to such a healthcare provider is appropriate.
More often than not, though, the problem behind weak or unreliable erections lies in the mind or emotions. Ours is a very “performance”-oriented society, especially for men. Guys are socially expected to fight their way to the top of the work environment, and at home, they’re expected to be the initiators of passionate and satisfying sex and intimacy with their partner. With all of these “macho” demands, it’s easy for guys to come to see their intimate life as yet another arena in which they expect themselves to be top performers. This can make sex an activity in which men may question whether they are “good enough” to please their partner. That sort of questioning can bleed over into a couple’s intimate relationship, by falsely equating sexual performance with how much the man loves his partner.
At a basic level, sex is adult play. Like all play, sex is best enjoyed creatively and light-heartedly— not as a duty or as a task that must be performed well. Such attitudes are a sure-fire “buzz-kill” for sexual pleasure, and for intimate connection. A well-trained sex coach can help a client see sex in a light that will promote enjoyment and satisfaction. A relaxed and emotionally-present man is much more likely to enjoy strong and easy erections than is a stressed-out and disconnected man.
A knowledgeable sex coach can be a powerful partner in addressing these issues. Here’s What I Do to help my clients.